Saturday, September 29, 2007

Over heard in NYC

I was told about this website today...really entertained me...I think stand up comedians get some of their materials from hear..no I am positive!

I dont believe they dont use any jokes where Canadians are involved! not even our thanksgiving!

Enjoy


The Golden Rule Doesn't Apply to Telecommunications, Lady

Old woman, to woman talking on Bluetooth headset: Excuse me, but are you talking to yourself?

Woman just looks at her and keeps talking.

Old woman: No, seriously! Are you talking to yourself? Because, if you are, you should be nicer to yourself.

--Central Park

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NewsFlash: Eccentric Dean of Electoral College Invokes Little-Known Constitutional Provision

Hobo: Attention, attention! I'm playing this saxophone to raise money for my spaceship!

Plays a horrible rendition of "Pop Goes the Weasel."

Hobo: I'm going into space, and I'm taking George Bush with me!

Fellow passengers cheer.

--1 train

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My Motto: Binge in Private, Purge in Public

Cashier: What will it be?
Customer: Large bucket, large fries, four Diet Cokes.
Cashier: Is this for here or to go?
Customer: Does it look like I can eat all that here?
Cashier: Chill, bitch... I don't know your life!

--KFC, Brooklyn

Overheard by: pat

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The Buddha Was a Tough Kid to Raise

Mother: Don't you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]
Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?

--Union Square

Overheard by: Miranda

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It's Okay-- It's His Job to Stand There

Tourist man: Pardon me, officer, can you tell us where Orchard Street is?
Cop: See that naked Chinese guy?
Tourist man: Ummm...Yeah.
Cop: Walk down to him and make a left.
Tourist man: Um, thanks.
Cop: No problem.

--Delancey & Allen

Overheard by: Isaac

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Starbucks: Where Six of One is Not a Half-Dozen of the Other

Employee: Ma'am, can I help you?
Woman: I'd like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3...
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She'll take 6.

--Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse

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Maybe You Should Get a Job at Starbucks Instead

Customer: I'll have a twelve-inch wheat --
Deli guy: Foot-long, or half?
Customer: Um... twelve inches. Isn't that a foot?
Deli guy: Foot-long, or half?
Customer: I think you're missing something here.

--Subway, Elmsford

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

This happened to me once...except I was on the other end. I was so used to metrics when I moved here. I hated inches and foot.
I remember asking for the 6 inch....so you want half a foot maam. Moi: NO. Just 6 inches please with a diet coke!
I sure got some look that day from that little Asian lady.


6 comments:

Isam Abu Salhieh said...

oh reeee-hhheeeeaaally :)

Dandoon said...

YA YA. walak it saved me from killing myself yesterday in the afternoon. i got you 'bored' bug now!

Rola J said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dandoon said...

Rola,
I understand that you might be frustrated over the repeated delete of your comments on Kinzi's blog. But I think this is pointless. Kinzi did not even know that this is on my blog. I appreciate your visit to my humble blog. But this is not acceptable. Sorry but I am going to delete this as I don’t wanna be part of the mishmash on kinzi's blog. All I wanted is to shoe sincerity to another female being harassed and I think I don’t need to clear any understanding about the Arab/Muslim culture as most blogger has done a good job at that although Kinzi seem to have a good background on that. Enough said on the topic

kinzi said...

Dandoon, heh-heh, I just ran a google search on my blog name (I get such weird people!) and saw this. Ya salaam, I am so sorry you got picked out also. Thanks for caring!

Hey, I think you'll be mentioned in VIVA next month. I'll let you know if the FB quotes make the final edit. I thought they were hilarious, so did editor #1. Blessings!

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