Saturday, November 10, 2007

Facebook as a bridal catalogue

I don't know how most of you feel about this, but for me one of the weirdest most awkward things in my culture is bride hunting. Weather you are being approached or asked for "reference" about someone in specific, and most creepy when you are asked to refer someone you know to complete stranger. i have to admit it is the creepiest when you are approached...

I think many Arabs out there are thankful for Facebook as it saves them a lot of effort as it allows a good "preview" of the possible bride to be. If the dude and his "KHATABE" are lucky, the girl would have an open public profile, or at least close picture of her face available for the public. Then, they can through her list of friends "investigate" if their circle of friends and her circle of friends are connected at some point through a common person (a common girlfriend is the best alternative) THEN an opportunity to approach the candidate rises !

I am serious. A lot of moms out there are behind the monitor browsing through the pictures on Facebook for possible candidate who they will contact her to arrange for when they can come over an have a cup of coffee with the family.

For some people, they go the extra step on signing in into their daughters accounts, go through their profiles and their friends profiles and "help" those nice guys out there finding there perfect bride. Their daughter's accounts has got to have some "listed friends" who are recently graduate Arab females, hopefully not yet spoken for and who are not looking to do any post-grad studies. Hey, you can even filter your search at Facebook by region and by university lol

On the other hand some men, do not put there loved ones through such trouble, because, and I quote some random dude from Montreal " It is easier and sometimes easier on the pocket (cheaper) to find a bride from back home and bring her to live here"

Personally, I made my peace with this, and know that there is nothing I can do, I sometimes even give up, and put up a good word for a girl who I knew. But most of the time I pretend I don't know this person and save myself from any future headaches and such

I don't understand, why can't the guys who are looking for a partner just approach those girls. Get to know them, and then maybe start something. I am sure most of them does not even trust someone else's taste in shirts. Why is it alright to marry based on someone else's taste?

This topic has been coming up a lot in my conversations, as my Facebook list of friends was recently investigated.


Hamza said...

and I wondered why mom asked me to login to my facebook profile and leave her on the computer.


Dandoon said...

Hahaha...glad to clear that out for you :P

Isam said...

how arabs always twist new technologies to fit with their retardation is beyond me ... but at least it saves people the embaressment ...

Sam said...

*lol* no way...this is so glad my mom is is not into finding brides for my brothers...but im so sick of being asked if i know any eligible girls for my friend's brothers and relatives..

za3tar said...

Eh .. some how i do not find too shocking. .... i wanted to write more in this comment ..... but i am waaayyy too garfan (with a 'g' as in 'google' because i am in Jordan now). ... i can't work, blog or anything. ... why am i writing this here again ??

gaarfaaann !! Dana .. do something !

Dandoon said...

Isam- oh yea, what about that time you tried to bluetoth your number to me? ( I agree it has its advantages)

Sam- Advise them to open facebook accounts!

Za3tar- come on now. Just through that attitude out of the window! don't be so dead!

ola said...

This is pretty funny! I canimagine moms wearign their glasses and staring into monitors!

I know a girl who got engaged to an Arab living abroad. He's living in an Arab society in the states. They argues about facebook more than once, he didn't want her to have an account there. One of the reasons was this: When someone there, in their society, wants to marry some girl, he looks for her on facebook. If she has an account on facebook, he doesn't propose to her nad forgets about the whole thing.

I can't believe how judgmental some people can get

Maher said...

1st of all , Hello :>
2nd of all, answering why guys dont approach girls ..well simply because girls here are hard to talk to.
i have lived nearly a year in Chicago..when you approach a girl there,if she is not interested she simply says no.

but if you approach a girl in our region she brag about it, she even tell all her friends that guy came and i said no.

IMO, Girls make it hard for the guys!

Dandoon said...

Welcome thats seriously funny..Arab Americans have some weird twists...

Maher- welcome on my blog
I remeber reading your blog in the summer, glad to see you again..

Nas said...

lol nice post dana. i think technological manifestations such as social networking, blogs, etc, are the easiest things to be used for a variety of reasons. the string that ties these technologies together is communication and i suppose at the heart of relationships, relationship building and relationship seeking, is communication.

in jordan they use university yearbooks for bride hunting, so using facebook isn't a far stretch. luckily my parents have never touched a computer in their lives!

on the other hand, in the wise words of sun tzu, keep your facebook friends close and your facebook enemies closer.

Dandoon said...

hey naz. you freaked me out!
an email msg from you poped up as i was adding you to technocrati favs...i though that was one fast auto msg,but it was really you on my blog :)welcome
i will take that advice into account

kinzi said...

Dandoon, this was the most interesting post, but I forgot who and when it was written! I'd love to quote you, would that be ok? Can I refer to your blog if people want to read the whole thing?

Dandoon said...

Sure Kinzi, go ahead :)

kinzi said...

Dandoon, you're a dear, thanks! :)

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